Что мы не говорим, когда говорим «Да»?

By the time a marriage is in crisis, either or both of the partners often ask, What did I get myself into? and When was the beginning of the end? Such questions can torture them for years as they struggle to live their wedding vows. Yet the beginning of the end frequently occurs long before vows were ever spoken because what was never spoken, and never fully understood, were the shadow vows—each person’s unacknowledged assumptions and beliefs about being a wife or husband. Such shadow vows bind the partners to each other and to the marriage in ways that are seldom seen or understood—until the pain of feeling trapped, crippled, or exhausted from trying to live by them forces its way into consciousness.

In this 7-month webinar, Dr. Elizabeth Èowyn Nelson, author of Psyche's Knife (Chiron, 2012), shows how a much-loved, much-discussed tale in the Western tradition, Eros and Psyche, has something fresh to offer anyone interested in the vicissitudes of love. She presents a complex and compelling analysis of Psyche, who is far more than the simple, naïve young woman portrayed in conventional views of the story. Through examination of key moments between the lovers, a more complex, troubling, and authentic understanding of female power, the feminine, and the soul emerges. 

The webinar will offer a blend of theory and experiential work to stimulate participants' thoughts and challenge their assumptions. A printed resource guide offers creative exercises to explore the themes presented in the reading and the lectures and to question when, why and how people fall silent rather than speak up. We view marriage as a metaphor for other durable commitments in one's life—to a job, an organization, a home, a community, and to one's self—which means vows and shadow vows are also present. By the end of the webinar, participants will be more conscious of the invisible and unvoiced promises they make, which bind people as tenaciously as the vows they speak aloud.